10 & 11

I don’t feel like writing today. I’m tired. But here I am with my laptop on my lap and I’m going to let the words go –

I’m tired, and I am so easily tired. I’m not even talking emotionally tired here – just physically. I often wonder how others are able to fit so much in one day (and so energetically). I prefer idle time. Lots of it. There’s a quarterly (?) magazine published in the UK called The Idler dedicated entirely to that sort of lifestyle. I’ve read an issue and it was lovely. Not something you’ll ever come across in Manila, that’s for sure. Don’t we take some kind of twisted pride in being a busy busy city (and we happen to speak English so well too — might as well be American! *eyes rolling*).

Things I want to spend hours with (but haven’t been able to because, well, life):

  • The Boxer Codex (to read, obvs)
  • That Alexander Hamilton bio I picked up (currently a paper weight – that thing is massive)
  • My cacti and other plants
  • My fountain pens, inks, and paper

Instead I’m in a car for two or three hours a day, sitting in traffic. Instead I have to run around like a headless chicken doing brainless things that leave me this damn tired. They say you settle into routines and that’s good. They also say change is good. And I agree to both — but I need time to find and settle into a routine. Time is also what I need to appreciate change. So where does time go. Chasing it around is exhausting. And really: why am I chasing it at all.

Man, I need to relax.


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